Semi-dramatic Sorta-chaotic Kinda Something

Peace and Hate

2010-06-11T14:31:00.001+08:00

By The Submarines

Behind the sweet
Summer fade
And on a coast
Not Far away

Sometimes we glide
Sometimes we fall
And there are times
We don't get up at all

You had your doubts
We had our rows
Said our goodbyes but
Now we're taking vows

Behind the sweet
Summer fade
You'll knock me down
Like a tidal wave

I should be gone
Cast away
But still I'd love you
Through all peace and hate

In light of all
Darkest things
The fire glimmers
And the darkness sings

If you should go
I won't have you to blame
For my unhappiness for darker days
When will I learn
It's not your fault
Breaking down could not
Be cured by breaking up
Cause breaking down could not
Be cured by breaking up

I should be gone
Cast away
But still I'd love you
Through all peace and hate

In light of all
Darkest things
The fire glimmers
And the darkness sings

Forever more
Peace and hate
Love and war
Declare a new state

Forever more
Peace and hate
Love and war
Declare a new state

Yell and shout and kick me out
Then forget what we fought about
But don't give up
These storms are passing

Yell and shout and kick me out
Then forget what we fought about
But don't give up
This storm is passing

Childhood memories of summer

2010-03-08T16:57:00.004+08:00

Jumping on the bed screaming "Bakasyon naaa!!!"
Making ice-candy, partly to be sold, but mostly to be eaten.
Hanging with the cousins and talking about random things as if they are the truth of the universe.
Halo-halo with lots of nata de coco.
Endless playtime. The street was my backyard.
Making records on cassette tapes.
Making greeting cards.
Listening to and calling radio stations.
Reading, reading, reading.
Pampanga, where I saw someone get crucified.
Bike rides.
Morning cartoons.
Sleep all day.

Pagod. Plangak. Plakda.

2009-01-28T13:49:00.002+08:00

Tired. Writer envy. Weird. Incoherent. Bed. Sleep. Dream.

Post haste

2008-11-21T00:12:00.007+08:00

I'm waiting. For what? I don't know yet. But I'm waiting.

***
"I like talking to a brick wall, it's the only thing in the world that never contradicts me." - Oscar Wilde

“Twenty-freaking-three!”

2008-09-08T23:55:00.000+08:00

I was waiting for today the whole year. That's how boring I am. I badly wanted a day when I'm justified to feel good without questions asked. Now, I'm "a 23 on the verge of spontaneous combustion." Let's see how I'll pull through this time. :)

Thank God for lending me another year. Thanks to my awesome parents for having me. Thanks to my family for their never-ending sweetness. Thanks to my friends for the greetings, gifts, and the happy picnic. I love you all!

I still have a few hours 'till my day ends, so I think I'm gonna spend it wisely by watching TV with my mom. Haha. Later skater. :)

I dare myself to move

2008-05-21T00:12:00.002+08:00

"Dare You to Move" - Switchfoot

... Welcome to the fallout
Welcome to resistance
The tension is here
Tension is here
Between who you are and who you could be
Between how it is and how it should be

I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened before

***
Konti na lang. Nararamdaman ko na talaga. Konti na lang.

Not now.

2008-05-07T17:27:00.003+08:00

I don't need this right now. This is all so confusing. I think I'm saying no. Sorry.

Affected

2008-02-18T15:20:00.003+08:00

I'm Mrs. McEyebags and I hate it. :-[

Another music loop moment. Today, it’s assorted Incubus and Maps by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. :) Why didn’t I become a musician instead? I need the night job. I need the secret life.

Hamlet + guyliner = Shakespearean Emo

2008-02-10T01:50:00.000+08:00

Theater time!

Erase whatever high school English Literature memory you have of Hamlet, because Repertory Philippines first ever take on Shakespeare's tragedy will shock you. As if a storyline of murder, madness, treachery, incest, and vengeance isn't unnerving enough, REP—now in its 71st season—gives the audience something darker, more violent, and raw.

In this retelling of William Shakespeare's tragedy, Prince Hamlet (played by Niccolo Manahan) attempts to seek revenge on his Uncle Claudius (Joel Trinidad) for poisoning his father, King of Denmark (Pom Docena), and ascending to the throne.

"Everyone knows Hamlet and it's been done, so I need to retell it in a different way and also in a way that will get the younger audience," said director Ana Abad Santos-Bitong on her stage directorial debut. "Excited, I thought of a primal Hamlet set in a land ravaged by war. No tights, no lavish sets, no British accents. Just a nameless world stripped its core and a son crying for revenge."

And strip they did. The stage itself is a story, thanks to set designer Denis Lagdameo. It is otherworldly with real dirt, suspended smoke, and lighting that half hides everyone in sinister-like shadow. Denis is also responsible for the very real weapons from huge machetes to katar dagger made of blunted steel that weighs as heavy as it sounds during the fight scenes. The cast donned in elaborate Faust Peneyra's costume of leather and faux fur was so beautifully anti-Shakespeare that you would think it's a TV fantaserye.

Ana was actually inspired by the ‘80s action film Mad Max which explains other characters Mohawk hair and the nightmarish feel of the set. "It started off from there, then it just grew with my creative team. Everyone shared my vision. We were able to sort of make our own world," she pointed out. Add to that the haunting original score of Jethro Joaquin and a powerhouse cast—it's a production unlike any other.

The audience will love the maddened Prince Hamlet in dark eyeliner played by Niccolo Manahan. He nailed Hamlet's angst-filled soliloquies and spouting the famous line, "To be or not to be: that is the question." But he remains charming in his melancholy. The wonderfully choreographed fight between Hamlet and the ass-kicking Laertes (Jamie Wilson) with realistic albeit blunted weapons left the audience in awe. Joel Trinidad's robust performance as the new king of Denmark, Claudius, commanded attention. "I did Hamlet in the early ‘90s. I played Laertes and even then, I loved the role of Claudius because he's so evil and so hateful," Joel recalled.

The only ladies on stage, Frances Makil-Ignacio and Cris Villonco, were strong as they were seductive. Frances transformed the weak Gertrude to an attention-hungry and conniving queen, while Cris portrayed a balisong-slinging and passionate Ophelia. It was both amusing and heartbreaking to see Ophelia's downward spiral to madness. "Ana didn't want me running all over the stage. But definitely, you know that something is going on with her head, you know there's been a drastic change," Cris said of Ophelia's "crazy stillness."

Completing the eclectic and talented cast are Bodjie Pascua as Polonius; Randy Villarama as Horatio; Red Concepcion as Rosencrantz; Felix Rivera as Guildenstern; Jejie Esguerra as Osric; Jerald Napoles as Marcellus; Hans Eckstein as Barnardo; Francis Mathue as Francisco; and Pom Docena as the creepy ghost of Hamlet's father.

Although the formal and tedious Shakespearean language is used for the dialogue, audience can very well relate and keep up with the fast-paced story. After all, there's no replacement for striking lines such as, "Frailty, thy name is woman!" or "I will speak daggers to her, but use none."

Catch the madness of Hamlet until February 17 at Onstage Greenbelt 1, Makati City. For inquiries and ticket information log on to http://www.repertory-philippines.com/ or http://www.ticketworld.com.ph/. Interested buyers may also contact Lorna Lopez at 09179256505.

IHU

2008-01-10T17:49:00.000+08:00

I feel terrible and I want to hit something, or maybe someone. I can't control these emotions, you know. But I feel very guilty about them.

Dining out lutong-bahay style

2008-01-06T15:18:00.000+08:00

Pinoy "comfort food with a twist" at PenPen. The hole-in-the wall restaurant in Tomas Morato is owned by Chupsie Medina, mom of indie cinema pin-up boy Ping Medina who describes PenPen food as a "quick and affordable fix na mas masarap 'yong pagkaluto than the usual."

Ping was kind enough to let me interview him for an article and feed me, so here are some pictures and a gracious plug. :) PenPen is at 105 Unit C Scout Castor Street, QC. They're open from Monday to Saturday, 11 a.m to 10 p.m.

The simple but delicious chicken nugget Cordon Bleu and their very famous Crispiest Liempo (the best ito!). Sarap din 'yong swak sa anghang nilang Bicol Express.

And this is me fangirling. Why not. Hahaha. :D

Because I like taking pictures of food

2008-01-05T02:22:00.000+08:00

Testing, testing. Massive calories on the way.

So for my first attempt at foodie posting, here's Burgoo's Mudslide cake. Well, I think that's what it's called. I forgot the proper name or how much it is. The important thing is, it's delish, but I had to hurry eating because the ice-cream was melting fast. This was taken during my Tia Rosie's birthday treat in Gateway, Cubao. :)

I wanna stop wasting Internet space

2008-01-04T11:18:00.000+08:00

This year, I'm thinking of converting this blog dumpsite into a foodie shrine. I have tons of food/pigging out photos in storage, so might as well put them to good use, even though they're not hi-res or perfectly styled like those in foodblogs I often visit. But food is food, right?

Oh, and happy new year, everyone! God bless! :)

OMFG-moment

2007-12-17T14:54:00.000+08:00

Just a false alarm panic. Thank God. Please, I don't need added stress right now. Pleaaassseee.

Aguy!

2007-12-14T01:54:00.000+08:00

Ang sakit sakit ng likod ko! :( Para akong matandang nirarayuma na hindi maintindihan. Naiiyak na ko. Halp.

Into the Woods and back

2007-12-13T01:25:00.000+08:00

A comedic medley of fairy telltales and happily never afters—New Voice Company's production of the Broadway musical Into the Woods is all that and more. Based on James Lapine's book of the same title, Into the Woods is a hodgepodge of familiar Brothers Grimm characters that all come colliding, well, in the woods.

The first act is centered on the basic storybook premise as each character sets out to find their happily ever after. A somewhat confused Cinderella (Cathy Azanza) goes to the ball and meets her prince (Jamie Wilson). Simple-minded Jack (Joaqui Valdes) trades his cow for magical beans and climbs the stalk. Bad-ass Red Riding Hood (Julia Abueva) survives a wolf-attack. A needy Rapunzel (Angela Padilla) gets rescued from the tower by her prince (John Mulhall).

All the while, the childless Baker (Michael Williams) and his wife (Menchu Lauchengco-Yulo) chase after them, hoping to lift the Witch's (Lynn Sherman) curse by gathering ingredients for her potion: a cow as white as milk, a cape as red as blood, hair as yellow as corn, and slipper as pure as gold.

It's fun watching the different characters stumble through the forest and bump into each other. There's a certain controlled chaos on stage with everyone in constant motion, a cow being dragged/carried everywhere, and the recurring appearance of the Mysterious Man (Tommy Abuel). But if the play lacks visual appeal, the cast members make up for it with their dance and song numbers. The key is to really pay attention to the songs.

Kudos to Ceejay Javier's wonderful live musical direction and Stephen Sondheim's powerful lyrics bordering from hilarious to dramatic. The standout performances are the overall singing and acting of the Baker's Wife; the princely brothers duet on "Agony," where they lament about their ladyloves; and the ugly Witch rapping about her vegetables: "But I'm tellling you the same / I tell kings and queens / Don't ever never ever / Mess around with my greens! / Especially the beans."

After all the merriment in the lengthy first act, the second half takes a rather dark turn. A threat of gigantic proportions appears and each character—all the while dealing with personal dilemmas—must work together to fight it off. The sudden death of some characters, unlikely coupling, and downbeat songs constantly surprise the audience.

The "Agony" gets a beautiful reprise as the "charming but not sincere" princes are apparently smitten with other fairy-tale beauties singing "What unbearable bliss / Agony / That can cut like a knife! / Ah, well, back to my wife." But the highlight is the long-winded number "Your Fault" as remaining characters play the blame game on who's at fault that a near-sighted she-giant is destroying their land and killing them one by one. The finale "Children Will Listen" sums up the themes of family relationships and embracing responsibilities in life.

Everything is not what it seems in the woods, which makes watching this fairytale musical entertaining for kids and adults alike.

Wishlist repost!

2007-12-12T13:50:00.000+08:00

Dear Boring Friend, because I have seen the error of my splurging ways, I just want something practical and useful this Christmas. So for our annual exchange gift brouhaha, here's my [revised] list (this also applies to anyone who's thinking of getting me something. Haha.):

* Neutrogena Deep Clean Facial Cleanser 150 ml bottle (please make this your priority one, haha)
* Fibrella folding umbrella
* Socks and handkerchiefs
* Lots of Stresstabs
* Globe prepaid card or Frequency Internet card
* Black medium-sized wallet
* Faber-Castell colored pencils
* Mouse wrist rest (please save me from carpal tunnel syndrome)
* Glue gun (throw in some glue sticks too if you can) or a stapler
* Alarm clock

Thanks, yo! And many happy returns! :)

On procrastination and something cosmic

2007-11-11T01:42:00.000+08:00

Brain meltdown over! I can't believe I'm done with the articles. Finally! This gladdens my heart. :) Procrastinating is very, very unhealthy. I must stop my evil ways. Now, I wait for blessed editing. I pray I don't mess this one up.

***
Just the other day, I had an epiphany thanks to an old CD. I was up late again and fingerbanging my keyboard to finish some work. To keep me awake, I looked through my dusty CD rack for anything loud and saw my Incubus Morning View album instead. I popped it in, listened to all the tracks, and just lost myself. I know always loved the band—I like most of their songs and I love Brandon Boyd as a vocalist and a hot-looking guy. But now realize in retrospect how big of an influence they are to my poetic history (if you can call it that) and to my protracted race to life. While I was listening to Aqueous Transmission, I wrote down on my palm the word cosmic. My epiphany of sorts was ridiculously cosmic.

Crunchy Tuna Roll!

2007-10-28T21:01:00.000+08:00

In yesterday's Theater Talk, Floy Quintos said, "rid your minds of cant." For most of my sitting time there, I was dwelling on the idea of a refresh button in my head so ideas could "load" faster and better. The director, of course, was talking about theater arts appreciation, but I guess, a little mind spring-cleaning is needed to prevent brain constipation too.

To explain what I was doing in a Theater Talk, Shar and Chuck brought me along. Shar is very musical right now and as friends we like to support each others' craziness. Plus, it's free. It was a fun experience meeting new people from the blogsphere, hearing the opinions of a stage director, and getting freebies. I haven't seen many productions in my life, the last being CCP's Insiang this October, so I can't say much about theater aesthetics. But it's great fun watching them and listening to soundtracks. I guess I have to see more plays now. Maybe Avenue Q on December? :)

***
So Honey and Clover II is over on Animax (tears!), Blood+ is back (yay!), I’m reading a storm of mangas again, specifically Air Gear and random oneshots, and I’m watching Saiunkoku Monogatari. The Japs have invaded. Not that I’m not complaining, but I'm just so distracted with them.

***
SumoSam’s Crunchy Tuna Roll is a gastronomic experience! I'll pig-out when I deserve it again. I swear!

"Oh yes, the planet is sublime!"

2007-10-10T16:45:00.000+08:00

Walking does clear the mind. I was harboring evil thoughts again, so I took a short walk and now I feel much lighter. I picked this up along the way:

Lifted from "Ode to Things" by Pablo Neruda

I love
all
things,
not because they are
passionate
or sweet-smelling
but because,
I don't know,
because
this ocean is yours,
and mine;
these buttons
and wheels
and little
forgotten
treasures,
fans upon
whose feathers
love has scattered
its blossoms,
glasses, knives and
scissors -
all bear
the trace
of someone's fingers
on their handle or surface,
the trace of a distant hand
lost
in the depths of forgetfulness.

Notice how I'm treating this blog as a space to plunk down random things.

Scatterbrain

2007-10-09T20:00:00.000+08:00

It's weird and embarrassing listening to my voice in recorded conversations. My voice is too high-pitched and I sound such a scatterbrain. I should know by now how to nail these stuff already.

Word constipation

2007-10-03T18:53:00.000+08:00

Just for now, I'm borrowing other people's brilliance.

"It is better to burn out than fade away." - Kurt Cobain

"I wish I could go back to college"

2007-09-26T19:17:00.000+08:00

(From the musical Avenue Q as mega plugged by Shar)

KATE MONSTER:
I wish I could go back to college.
Life was so simple back then.

NICKY:
What would I give to go back and live in a dorm with a meal plan again!

PRINCETON:
I wish I could go back to college.
In college you know who you are.
You sit in the quad, and think, "Oh my God!
I am totally gonna go far!"

ALL:
How do I go back to college?
I don't know who I am anymore!

PRINCETON:
I wanna go back to my room and find a message in dry-erase pen on the door!
Ohhh...
I wish I could just drop a class...

NICKY:
Or get into a play...

KATE MONSTER:
Or change my major...

PRINCETON:
Or fuck my T.A.

ALL:
I need an academic advisor to point the way!
We could be...
Sitting in the computer lab,
4 A.M. before the final paper is due,
Cursing the world 'cause I didn't start sooner,
And seeing the rest of the class there, too!

PRINCETON:
I wish I could go back to college!

ALL:
How do I go back to college?!
AHHHH...

PRINCETON:
I wish I had taken more pictures.

NICKY:
But if I were to go back to college,
Think what a loser I'd be-
I'd walk through the quad,
And think "Oh my God..."

ALL:
"These kids are so much younger than me."

The man Maria

2007-09-09T01:16:00.000+08:00

You Who Never Arrived
By Rainer Maria Rilke

You who never arrived
in my arms, Beloved, who were lost
from the start,
I don't even know what songs
would please you. I have given up trying
to recognize you in the surging wave of the next
moment. All the immense
images in me--the far-off, deeply-felt landscape,
cities, towers, and bridges, and unsuspected
turns in the path,
and those powerful lands that were once
pulsing with the life of the gods-
all rise within me to mean
you, who forever elude me.

You, Beloved, who are all
the gardens I have ever gazed at,
longing. An open window
in a country house--, and you almost
stepped out, pensive, to meet me.
Streets that I chanced upon,--
you had just walked down them and vanished.
And sometimes, in a shop, the mirrors
were still dizzy with your presence and, startled,
gave back my too-sudden image. Who knows?
perhaps the same bird echoed through both of us
yesterday, seperate, in the evening...

Ah. So this is 22.

2007-09-08T23:54:00.000+08:00

Birthdays are always happily sad and sadly happy. The wordplay is useless, but there's a point there somewhere.

I had to work today, but I'm cool with it. The free delicious food cheered me up. And besides, the dream of having an absolutely work/disturbance/worry-free day is long lost. I just have to get used to it.

After said work, my mom and I attended mass, visited uncle in the columbarium, had dinner, did the laundry, and now, I'm here snacking on cereals while SuperPoking people on Facebook. Radical. :)

Thanks to all the well-wishers and gift-givers. :) As far as gifts go, one can never go wrong with a book. Or a can Vienna sausage, for that matter. Haha. You made aging a little more fun and bearable. I love you all. God bless.

"Druid, where's my car?"

2007-08-31T00:05:00.000+08:00

Carrie Ann, the Patron Saint of Cheerleaders, made me laugh today. The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy rocks my socks. :) Ellen Degeneres too. She's so gay and crushable. And since I'm in the subject of gayness and mindless TV, I watch America's Next Top Model because of the pretty pictures. I watch Blood+ and Air Gear because maybe I want to be an air-trecking vampire or something.

I've been stalking some journalist bloggers and they talk about just the most important things in the world! Spouting everyday philosophy people needs to hear. It's impressive and embarrassing on my part because, c'mon, I talk about cartoons. What is up with me?

Fight! Because only dead fish swim with the current! And I'll keep telling myself this till it sinks in.

Bathroom girl

2007-08-10T14:10:00.000+08:00

I'm haunted by Jeffrey Eugenides's The Virgin Suicides. Cecilia Lisbon particularly. I thoroughly enjoyed the narrative and the goosebumps.

"What are you doing here, honey? You’re not even old enough to know how bad life gets."

And it was then Cecilia gave orally what was to be her only form of suicide note, and a useless one at that, because she was going to live: "Obviously, Doctor," she said, "you"ve never been a thirteen-year-old girl."

Hysteria with an audience

2007-08-07T19:16:00.000+08:00

"People don't want their lives fixed. Nobody wants their problems solved. Their dramas. Their distractions. Their stories resolved. Their messes cleaned up. Because what would they have left. Just the big scary unknown." - Chuck Palahniuk

***
Do I really wanna be lucid and boring? :}

"When Life Gives You Lemons, Dance!"

2007-07-17T14:07:00.000+08:00

When life gives you lemons, dance!
Dance like there's a muskrat in your pants
When your toes are tappin'
Nothin' bad can happen
When life gives you lemons, dance!
When life lays a lemon on your plate,
Kick up your heels and celebrate
When you're caught in a downpour
With nothing to live for
Strike your most spirited stance...
And dance! Dance!! Dance!!!

:)

***
The cracked chronicles and sociopathic secrets begin. Haha.

What happened to June?

2007-07-08T00:59:00.000+08:00

What happened to my June? Who stole my whole month? Because July is starting to depress me with all its problems and hard to explain sadness.

***
Meet my new lover/CPU, Jack the computer. It's tall, dark, and expensive. If this one dies on me, I will really go insane.

***
I'm well on my way to a life of eternal singledom and I don't give a rat's ass.

Google me this, Google me that

2007-05-31T23:09:00.000+08:00

This blog is very Googable, it's scary. Haha.

***
Hello, rainy season.

"A change in the weather is sufficient to recreate the world and ourselves." - Marcel Proust

Hopping into puddles

2007-05-20T01:03:00.000+08:00

All summer I've been thinking and planning of going away. Not really "travel" but just "go away" like on a road trip to somewhere I've never been, eat in a little seaside shop, see interesting things, get lost and enjoy it. You know, just have all sorts of spontaneous and crazy adventures I'll blog about and never forget. Sadly, summer is about to end and it feels like a total vacation bust.

I'm actually jealous of the people who vacationed off somewhere and came home with so many nice stories and photos. My aunt told me in one of our dinner conversations about life and such and such, that she would really like to travel to Italy. She's single and a very religious person and would love nothing else than to visit Rome for a pilgrimage. And you can tell that she really wants it to happen. But taking care of our Lola takes so much of her time and even if she has the means, she can't. My aunt's about 50+ years old and I hope that she'll be able to go on her pilgrimage soon because she deserves it. If there's anyone who needs rest and alone time, it's her.

As for me, I hope the opportunity to make my get away comes soon too.

***
"I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I need to be." - The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul by Douglas Adams

All hippity hoppity

2007-04-08T19:37:00.000+08:00

Happy Easter, everyone! Just enjoying the stillness, the bunnies, and the ice-cream here.

Today is also Vivienne Westwood's birthday and the day they found Kurt Cobain's dead body in his house.

Girly bug

2007-03-15T16:07:00.000+08:00

A young friend has just bitten by the girly bug. After she discovered make-up and dresses, she has now moved on to derma clinics and salons. It's quite funny and silly, but that's adolescence for you. When she came home from her first facial (c/o Forever Flawless as she advertised), she was gushing over the whole experience and doesn't want anything to touch her face till the next morning. And then, there was her sudden decision to have an expensive hair treatment and hair cut from David's Salon (again with the advertising). Of course, there's nothing wrong with this, she seems to have the money for it and everyone is entitled to feel beautiful about themselves (campaign for real beauty, anyone?). I think she's very smart and pretty, but as an older sister figure, I think she may be growing up faster than expected. She's only 14 and when I was her age, I was fawning over anime. Yes, I still am to this day. But times are different now, I guess. Maybe this is just an old hag venting out her suppressed teen-hood. Haha.

My pretty kettle of fish

2007-03-05T22:33:00.000+08:00

It is done and no regrets about it at all. But I must admit, I'm fucking scared of what the future will throw at me next. And I'm not up for surprises, because the last two broke me. This time, I'd rather know so I'll be warned to whether catch or duck.

A new chance came along, but it may have gone down the drain already. I didn't do much, so I have no right to expect. That's why I don't feel too bad about it. But again, it's like a premonition of worse things to come. I tried getting back in the zone, but it's rejecting me. I mean if I can't have this, then what do I have?

Then there's this possibility which will remain as is if I don't do something about it soon. A good opportunity that I think would greatly help me. But time and circumstances are against it. Right now, it's better to be practical. I should start finding solid ground first before jumping into the air.

Bailing out

2007-02-20T22:42:00.001+08:00

The logical half of me is willing to sacrifice even for a little bit longer, but the conscientious one has clearly made its brutal point. It's one of those it's-not-you-it's-me situations. And if I'm the problem here, then I have to fix myself first. Distance is needed. To be honest, even though I'm still thinking things over, I'm quite decided already.
***

Everything isn't fine where I stand right now. So I'm breaking into a song:

"I wish that I could fly
Into the sky
So very high
Just like a dragonfly

I'd fly above the trees
Over the seas in all degrees
To anywhere I please

Oh I want to get away
I want to fly away
Yeah yeah yeah

Oh I want to get away
I want to fly away
Yeah yeah yeah"

Me? Good? No, I'm just indifferent.

2007-02-07T20:46:00.000+08:00

Indifference to everything will get me nowhere. It's working now, but for how long? Besides, I can sense their waning tolerance for me too. Well, the feeling is mutual. I'm just buying some time and saving up, then away I go.

This is the estrogen talking

2007-01-28T02:04:00.000+08:00

You know, I had plans once. Lots of it---big, ambitious, some crazy, some too selfish, some actually generous. Plans that I would go over my head again and again, because I thought they were pretty great and I believed I can do them if I just try really, really hard. They weren't perfect, but they're mine. They're my goals and my dreams. But in life, things never go your way. There's a proverbial glitch to everything. Something always happens which you cannot undo or control. Even if you want your plans to materialize so badly, they just don't. And then you stop caring and start being afraid.

This is my first post of the year

2007-01-03T00:54:00.000+08:00

A late merry Christmas and happy New Year, blog world. Peace and love.

Minus the part where I had to work while the entire office enjoyed a weeklong paid vacation, the unexpected death of a dear uncle, and being home alone most of the time, it was a pretty ok holiday. My family is still intact and healthy. I still have a home. I still have friends, one in particular helped me through my work slump (thanks, I owe you). I was showered with holiday cheers and greetings. I still received gifts. We had food on the table. And I'm still alive despite being "un-fun" at times. There are really more things to be grateful for than to complain about. Besides, it's Jesus' birthday and the freaking New Year; I think no amount of asinine selfishness can spoil that.

In between working, I leisurely spent my "break time" daydreaming, sleeping, watching TV, and reading (I finished a book, woohoo). The rest was allocated for a bit cleaning, making refrigerated cake and fruit salad, and a little serious thinking. I didn't attend any parties, didn't go on a getaway trip (or leave Manila for that matter), didn't touch alcohol, didn't see a decent fireworks display or even a good movie. But not once did I find myself bored. I guess another thing learned here is that in whatever given situation, there's always something to entertain yourself with.

2006 has been fairly good to me albeit challenging and frustrating because of the (still ongoing) transition period from student to worker ant (in which I'm still hung-up). I was employed twice, though neither job is great. But at least I have the better part of the year to remember-wonderful and not fleeting memories of graduation, Varsi, thesis days (sans the whole "working on it" part), summer outings, and mindless meanders. It's an even square I guess. Hopefully this year, I do something about the professional aspect of my life, so I'll have good memories from that too.

This is what I like about year-enders and beginning a new calendar, it at least gives us a chance to hope and expect for something better.

Huhuhu.

2006-12-03T00:15:00.000+08:00

We get lost not because we don't have a map, it's because we lack a destination. Huhuhu.

What is wrong with me? This is a terrible way to start my December.

Tungkol lang 'to sa oatmeal

2006-11-28T22:43:00.000+08:00

Pero bago ang lahat, kailangan ko lang talagang i-type 'to:

"Tama. Artista ka nga. Ang dami mo kasing kaartehan sa katawan. Pwe!"

Ayan. Ok na. Moving on, ikukuwento ko lang na may oatmeal at bread product fixation ako ngayon. Nagsimula 'to nung bumili ako ng muriatic acid sa grocery. Habang namimili ako ng effective at murang asido pang linis sa banyo namin, nakita ko yung mga flavored instant oatmeal ng Quaker Oats. Bumili ako kasi naisip ko pag nagugutom ako sa office, may makakain ako. Sa mga panahong yun, wala yung mga magulang ko sa bahay. Dahil nga ako lang mag-isa ng ilang araw, walang nagtatabi ng pagkain para sa akin. At dahil may katamaran akong magluto para sa sarili ko at ayoko namang bumili ng mahal na ulam sa karinderya, yung oatmeal kinakain ko. Hindi ko na sila nabaon tuloy. Bili na ko nang bili pagkatapos nun. Tapos si Tia ko naman mahilig mag-stock ng tinapay at pastries sa ref. Kaya alternately oats at tinapay lang nakakakain ko dito sa bahay. Masarap naman sila at nabubusog ako. Kaso no choice ako pag sa labas, mas convenient kasing kumain ng kanin at ulam na lang.

A bunch of broken thoughts

2006-11-26T02:57:00.000+08:00

I don't know anything anymore. I've been asking myself a lot of things lately and "I don't know" is all the answer I can get. Maybe I'm asking the wrong things. I don't know. Maybe there's really no need for questions to begin with. I don't know. But what I do know is everything's not ok. So, what do I do about it? I don't know. I just effing don't know.
***

Lazy-gym-freak-coffee-enthusiast glitterati! You all ruined my beautiful TV world! Everything was just peachy until I found about your little secrets. From now on I'm sticking with my anime and fiction in general.
***

Besides realizing my true unfriendly nature, here are some more factoids about me: I'm an envious bastard. I'm unreasonably frugal but an impulsive buyer. I don't like the feeling of being cheated. I dislike people who walk so slowly as if they don't know the whole word is in a hurry. I dislike people who take such a long time doing whatever with the ATM. I hate money discussions.
***

It's weird how when I had the money before, I never bought myself anything. But now, I keep buying stuff in pretense of cheering myself up despite being flat broke.

On that note, let it be known that now I'm saving for something really important. It's a need, a want, and a must. I'm writing it down so I won't forget.
***

My teeth hurt after the adjustment but that didn't stop me from devouring my Biggie meal. Sweet fast-food delight.
***

Honey and Clover is really heartbreaking. It's friendship-centric, but more so, it's about unrequited love in all possible form and manner. And whichever way you look at it, unrequited love is always sad. But I enjoy watching it though and I would want to see the live-action. I love Morita and Yamada.

For the heck of it

2006-11-19T00:45:00.000+08:00

I haven't written here for the longest time. Oh wait, scratch that. I haven't written anything for the longest time.

***
After a month on the job, I've formulated quite wordy opinions about the work I do. Although, I'm purposely trying to keep my thoughts mum for the sake of sanity, I'm just going to let some things slip out because I'm in such a "schizometric" mood today.

This is just something I do to earn some cash (not much, mind you). I'm looking at ways to make a career out of this, but the trouble is I really can't see one. Not on a long-term basis and not on serious terms. By job description I'm supposed to be a writer, but there's very little writing involved here. Sir Nick Joaquin says there's no such thing as a hack writing job, so I guess that makes me the hack writer he's talking about. And to fuel all the confusion, there's also its deceitful nature which mocks my training and institutions. I know they're simply running a business here, but I can't help find it a bit absurd. And I'm part of it all---the corporate-commercial bandwagon. Then I go find out how "showbizly" and socially inept I am. Until this job, I've never realized I'm that unfriendly and silent to the point of being a wallflower.

But I'm sticking with this as long as I can, mainly because I need a job. And honestly speaking, I don't know what to do next. I'm confused as to what I even want now. If this just a phase, a life transition, I really want it to be over soon.

"Shulp shulp shulp"

2006-10-22T00:10:00.000+08:00

So, I got a new job. Not exactly what I expected, but I'm very thankful all the same. I mean, I prayed for it and I got it quite fast, so no complaints (yet). I started last week, technically it's a writing job (though not very journalistic and lucrative) which is media-related and for a respectable company. Flexi sked, rubber slippers are allowed, and I can eat in front of the PC. But the best thing about it is the office is barely 15 minutes from my house. Meaning I won't have much time to brood over my life's demise when I commute like I used to do all the way to Makati and back.

By enumerating the pros of said job, I've convinced myself that this will do for now. Plus, the little sidelines here and there help me through the emotional gap. And I want to do more of it.

***
Eco's "The Island of Day Before" is the toughest book I've read so far. It's a struggle page after page because it's too philosophical and overwhelming for me. But thanks to Milenyo and the four-day power outage, I finished it and actually enjoyed it. Half-way through the book, I was sure Roberto was going insane only to be proven wrong. The story is humorous and crazy in a very elegant manner. Like how they talked about the science of time, human machinations, a laughing God. Here's a part I like Roberto lying on the ship naked and pondering about nothing and being:

"I magma, I magma, shulp shulp shulp, I flow, fluid, plop plop splupp, I bubble bub bub, I sizzle, spittle, spatter, patter, platter. Plap. And Roberto, imaging himself as magma, spat like a hydrophobe dog and tried to make his viscera grumble. He almost had a bowel movement. He was not made to be a magma, better return to thinking like a stone."

Right after Eco, I read Franz Kafka's short stories. Being electricity-deprived does that to a person. I did most of the reading on our roof and in my aunt's house which has huge windows.

***
This thought just won't go away: Unrequited love is so sad even if you're just witnessing it happen to other people.

The Bum Log #3 (Nuisances)

2006-09-26T02:03:00.000+08:00

Damn it! UST lost the first face-off game with Ateneo last Sunday. And with just a one-second play by Doug Kramer. One damn second. That's all it took! It's crazy! I'm no sports afficionado, but I know the Tiger's defense sucked big time there. Kramer basically skipped, pranced, and did a little pirouette to the ring! It's damn crazy. My mother and I were hysterical watching the game. Let's hope for a revenge on game two. But even if UST doesn't bag the championship this season, it's already a feat making it to the finals. I'm proud of them all the same.

Another damn it! My manga source is experiencing extreme downtime which will last for a few more days. Waaah. I badly want to see the rest of Nana already. Reading spoilers just doesn't cut it.

Yet another damn it! I'm out of cereals! I even turned the foil inside out to make sure I get all the crumbs. I am that hungry.

The Bum Log #2 (Self-entertainment!)

2006-09-21T22:16:00.000+08:00

Hisaya Nakajo's beloved shoujo manga Hanazakari no Kimitachi E is finally going to be a TV drama! Kyaaa! ♥ It's still in production and hopefully will be released this year in Taiwan. Ella, who'll play Rui Xui (Mizuki in the manga version), really looks cute as a boy! The manga revolves around Mizuki who goes to Japan to meet the high-jumper he admires, Sano. As she wants to be close to him, she enrolls at Sano's school. The thing is, Sano attends an all-boys academy, so Mizuki has to disguise herself as boy throughout her stay there. Crazy romance ensues! This is a lame synopsis, but the story is really hilarious and cute. Kyaaa! Just hope they do the manga justice because I really love HanaKimi. I love it so much I even signed an online petition for its much-prayed-for anime adaptation. C'mon give us the anime already!
***

Indulging myself in manga and anime fandom right now. Just finished Paradise Kiss and currently in Nana's volume five. Mangaka Ai Yazawa really loves surprising her readers with weird odds and ends in her stories. But I like it, flawed romance and tragic endings are more human and definitely interesting. When I first saw Ren from Nana, I thought his padlock necklace looks suspiciously like Sid Vicious'. Turns out his character is based from the junkie and now deceased Sex Pistol's bassist. So, yeah, I like him. Sid too.

Ouran High School Host Club (series) is about to end in Japan next week. T_T Can't wait for the subbed version in YouTube. The manga is still ongoing and yes, I'll follow it.

I'm thinking of reading FuriKuri next. And I'm yet to see Furuba's final chapter, so I have to look for that.
***

And this really made my day: UST Growling Tigers made it to the finals! Yay! Well, it's about time! Impressive team performance this season and coach Pido Jarencio is a real miracle worker.

The Bum Log #1 (Season 2)

2006-09-21T02:56:00.000+08:00

Here be the bum log commences! (Again)

After updating my resume today (so I can scatter them around the metro yet again), I figured my "accomplishments" (and I use that term very loosely) aren't as impressive as I once imagined. Before, I thought, hey, maybe it's good enough to at least land me some decent work, but employers have no use for just-good-enough people. They want the best, the creme de la creme, the "man" who can do the job and then some. And if you compare my resume to someone else's (a batchmate or anyone my age), mine will look absolutely mediocre. Sure, I did a few stints here and there, but so what? Everybody has done that, nothing new there. So, professionally, I'm still a big barney. Unlike most people I know who have awards to brag about, been granted fellowships and scholarships, published everywhere, elbow rubs with the right people, and can fart opuses at will, I'm just a wannabe. Resumes are just for show, I guess. But it would be nice to have good material even if it is just for show. Well, it'll have to do for now. Just have to keep my faith up and fingers crossed.

I don't regret my choices. Ok, maybe a few, but I'm sure even the bad ones did me some sort of good. I've always been a big dreamer that sometimes my thoughts shoot off too fast, too careless. I want to do many things and be many things, but I always find excuses not to do something about it. It's tiring to be lazy, really. Tsk. That's why I have to get up on my feet and chase after them already.

Work is for chumps!

2006-09-19T17:26:00.000+08:00

I'm not a tree! I finally resigned. Normally, unemployment is an unpleasant thing. But right now...woohoo! No source of income, but just glad to be relieved of all the negative vibes and unhappy thoughts. ^_^ Seems like quitting is the new trend these days. Hahaha.

And to add up to the merriment, I have cookies, milk, and cereals! Happy days are really here!

Have to keep my priorities straight. I want to do better from now on. ^_^

Wrong things and a post birthday blast

2006-09-13T07:43:00.000+08:00

If it feels wrong, then it must be wrong.

Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong.

I can't do this any longer. I'm so unhappy. :( And I don't mean that in my exaggerated way of putting things. This cruel joke has been going on for months now. It has to stop.

I shouldn't have seen "The Devil Wears Prada." It was fine and all, but it's a fucking job movie, so right now, I hate it.
***

Thanks for the company, greetings, and presents (even though I imposed them on you).

Happy freakin' birthday!

2006-09-08T21:44:00.000+08:00

At 21, I'm gender-blind, with bi-polar disorder, astigmatism, irregular bowel movements, currently underemployed, unsuccessful, unachieved, uncultured, unstable, unreasonably frugal, a poor common folk, award-less, talent-less, forgetful, confused, narcoleptic, socially inept, lazy, crabby, pushy, pervy, still a singleton, gross, fugly, fat ass, and just recently, sporting blue hair streaks.

But hey, I at least got this far. So for that, I'm very thankful.

PS: Mother Mary and Arlene, I feel so blessed sharing this day with you. Happy birthday!

Hello, Ground!

2006-09-03T01:48:00.000+08:00

From "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" movie. (Source: IMDB)

The Book: It is important to note that suddenly, and against all probabiliy, a Sperm Whale had been called into existance several miles above the surface of an alien planet. Since this isn't a naturally tenable position for a whale, this innocent creature had very little time to come to terms with its identitity. This is what it thought, as it fell:

The Whale: Ahhh! Woooh! What's happening? Who am I? Why am I here? What's my purpose in life? What do I mean by who am I? Okay okay calm down, calm down get a grip now. Ooh, this is an interesting sensation. What is it? Its a sort of tingling in my... well I suppose I better start finding names for things. Lets call it a... tail! Yeah! Tail! And hey, whats this roaring sound, wooshing past what I'm suddenly gonna call my head? Wind! Is that a good name? It'll do. Yeah, this is really exciting. I'm dizzy with anticipation! Or is it the wind? There's an awful lot of that now isn't it? And what' this thing coming toward me very fast? So big and flat and round, it needs a big wide sounding name like 'Ow', 'Ownge', 'Round', 'Ground'! Thats it! Ground! Ha! I wonder if it'll be friends with me? Hello Ground!

[Dies]

Haha. Life is funny and sad this way.

Just my two cents

2006-08-28T00:28:00.000+08:00

Because it is a very, very mad world and flying pigs are way cool (though not as cool as radical platypuses because they're number one on my list). Current state of instability caused by all the Jeff Buckley, Tears for Fears, Pink Floyd, Gary Jules, Dizzy Gillespie, and Yoshida Kyodai ear-candy booming on my speakers.

What I'm trying to say here is I borrowed another funkydelic layout from Blogskins (see credits).
***

Life hasn't improved since I last checked, which is about three minutes ago when I decided to post something here. To bitterly sum it up, I wasn't able to meet my self-imposed ultimatum and yes, I'm very sad about it. Failure, frustration, unfulfillment, whatever you call it, it still sucks. I guess I'm just not good enough and I don't deserve something better. Either that or the universe is once again conspiring against me. Boo-fucking-hoo.
***

Mother's everyday "Oh, tumae ka na ba?" is annoying the crap out of me, pun intended. Since they are all so convinced that I'll die of colon cancer, so be it. Just please quit fussing over my bowel movements!
***

Say that John Mark Karr is uninvolved in the JonBenet Ramsey case, US court should still give him life sentence. The man is a screaming pedophile! He's not right in the head. And to think he was a father of three and an elementary teacher.

Another thing that riles me up is this singing duo, Prussian Blue, composed of 13-year-old, neo-Nazi, Hitler-loving twins Lynx and Lamb Gaede. Ok, so they were raised by their parents like that, but I think they don't really know half of what they're saying.

"We don't believe six million Jews were executed. There were not even that many Jews alive then." - Lynx Gaede in an interview with ABC News (Source: http://abcnews.go.com/Primetime/story?id=1231684&page=1)

We're not in Nazi Germany. It's 2006, what rock have you been under? You can take your white supremacist ideologies and shove them up your racist Caucasian holes!

And besides, they can't even sing very well. So there.

(This is a product of too much transcriptions.)

Astronomical demotion

2006-08-25T20:49:00.000+08:00

Forget what they've taught you in grade school science, throw away your styrofoam solar system models, and start reassessing your astrological woo-hoos, because we only have eight official planets now, people. PLUTO IS NO LONGER A FREAKING PLANET. The International Astronomical Union yesterday booted it off the planet-hood because its shrimpy size and oblong orbit didn't make the planetary cut. It's now demoted to a mere "dwarf planet." If discoverer Clyde Tombaugh was alive, this would probably kill him.

***
And speaking of killing, the impeachment complaint is now entombed. But that news isn't as shocking as knowing you just lost a planet.

***
I've heard somewhere (TV, I guess) that you know you're getting old when you acquire a certain taste for jazz music. Shit. I'm listening to Dizzy Gillespie and his music is as funky as his name.

Quick-fixes

2006-08-20T16:41:00.000+08:00

Still in a mother of a slump, but I'd rather redirect pent-up life frustrations to a more positive and shallower rant for now at least.

I have the whole Akira Kurosawa collection. Woot! I wasn't too thrilled last night when I bought it, because one, I don't deserve little rewards like these yet. Two, I really need to save up. And three, I wanted to watch some senseless ha-ha comedies for a cheerer-upper. But when I woke up today and popped them to the player for a test, all my inhibitions left. Not original but the copies were clear enough for old black and whites and most of the subtitles are at least grammatical, so that's good enough for me. Plus, it's a bargain, though I don't think the saleslady wants to see me again. I guess I did kind of rip her off. Oh well. Maybe I'll go back and look for Kubrick. Such kick-ass directors.

Shar, thanks for bloating us up yesterday. Breakfast is the new dinner :)

Naruto is totally overshadowing my FMA fandom. Nyar. But it's taking so long and I want to see the time jump part already, especially a 15-year-old Gaara. Sabaku Kyu!

Arrested Development and Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends turned out to be my cheerer-upper.

Nosy neighbors

2006-08-18T23:42:00.000+08:00

Every street has them. They come in all shapes, sizes, age, and gender. Each with their own schemata to corner their poor unsuspecting victims, but their knowing smirks are all the same. Ours have the ambushing type who strikes when you're alone and completely unprepared. Or in my case, while you're busy looking for your damn house keys.

I was right in front of our gate when it happened. Nobody was home for the afternoon, so I started fumbling for my keys. But as my bag sometimes transforms into a black hole of sorts, I couldn't immediately them find. While I was hunched over and preoccupied with the search at hand, the neighbor attacks. Stealthily, mind you.

When I felt the queer sensation of being watched, I turned around and saw said neighbor in all her yellow flowery duster presence smiling/smirking at me. She was about to throw a matching yellow trash bag into the bin. Her face is familiar, but the name eludes me. It was something nondescript like a Menang, Melang, or Mayang.

What's-her-face started with the casual "Hi. Hello. Haven't seen you in a while. Look how you've grown...blabbity-blah." Then feigned concern as she asked how my day was, how's the family, if I had my keys with me or have I eaten dinner already, which is all too weird coming from a lady who doesn't even spare second glances to people and once screamed at me for attempting to feed her dog back in my grade school days. But as I'm relatively nice (well, most of the time), I answered politely, but not the kind that encourages further conversation. I entertained her for a bit just for the heck of being polite. But then came a humdinger of a question: "So, saan ka na nagtratrabaho?"

Being that it was an effing subject I rather not discuss at the moment to anyone, especially with a complete stranger who I know doesn't even like me, I chose my words carefully and answered as safe as possible. "Makati po," I said. Though the words that were playing on my tongue that moment were really "Curse be with you old lady. Curse be with you." She looked dissatisfied with my very vague reply, her smirk faltering a bit, and was about to pry more, when my fingers finally found my keys. "Nakita ko na po susi ko. Sige, pasok na po ako, medyo natatae po kasi ako e." I closed the gate in relief and went inside. Good effing riddance.

Lessons learned: Do not make eye contact with sketchy neighbors again, chain keys to my hand, and deal with the effing subject. already.

Compressed/Depressed

2006-08-13T16:36:00.000+08:00

Still nothing. This is so sad.

MAYON OFF

2006-08-07T21:39:00.000+08:00

Ayaw mo bang sumabog ang Mayon Volcano? Text MAYON (space) OFF and send to 2366 for Globe and Smart subscribers.

Text na!
***

Balita: May panukala ang MMDA na gawing parking lot ang mga football field ng ilang eskwelahan para maibsan ang trapiko sa Maynila.

Wow. Another bright idea from MMDA. Akala ko wala nang tatalo dun sa MMDA art at pink urinals nila.
***

It's settled, "Crazy Little Party Girl" ni Aaron Carter ang aking official videoke song. Nung (randomly) nag-videoke kami nina Shar at Chuck, naka 100 kami at may kasama pang indak yan. Kumyoung life is entertainment talaga. Hahahaha.

Matanda na talaga ko. Masyado na akong nag-e-enjoy sa videoke.
***

Kanina pa ko kain nang kain pero gutom pa rin ako. Ngayon naman gusto ko ng pansit canton, yung Chili-Mansi. Tsaka malamig na Yakult at malatang penoy. Tsalap.

Somethings

2006-07-30T11:32:00.000+08:00

It's getting boring. Sure, everyday is a new challenge and I welcome it with open arms and a very open mind. I do my best, really. Just trying to comprehend US politics, the current Mid East crisis, searching for "unspellable" names and so forth is toil all by itself. The files I do are very informative and interesting. I've never digested news as much as I have now, so that's good thing. I try to soak up much knowledge as I can because I have to be updated with current events and I know it'll be useful to me in the future. Can't complain about the people too because they're great. Most of them are my age, some even my former classmates, which makes the whole working experience seem so casual. But I'm still looking for something else. Something I can be more directly involved in the media. Sadly enough, it's something I still can't quite put my finger on.

I have so many "what ifs" right now and maybe a hint of regret too. The prospect of not getting another shot at something I really want to do scares me to no end.

Reviews (or something to that effect)

2006-07-24T16:52:00.000+08:00

It's so nice to be home, sleeping for 12 hours and doing absolutely nothing to improve my life. Couldn't care less about Hezbollah, typhoons, Gloria's SONA, or about work tomorrow. All I need right now is my bed, TV, fridge, and Internet. Good times. I think I'll sleep a little more after this.

***
"Dead Man's Chest" is a great watch. Seeing Johnny Depp all scruffy, smelly-looking, uncoordinated, and a buggered pirate is very enjoyable. And him being funny is well, really funny. He's a very versatile actor, never the typical pretty-boy protagonist like Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise. He played a fag, scissor-handed freak, Willy Wonka, Ichabod Crane, bad guy, good guy, writer, singer, he even did voice acting, etc. And he played them so well, as if the roles were tailor-fitted just for him (or I should say it's the other way around). Anyway, back to Pirates. Great locations and set design, I think they shot most of it somewhere in the Bahamas. The swashbuckling fight scenes were great, especially the one with the giant wheel. There's a lot returning characters and references to the first film like the inside joke about rum. I think I enjoyed it better than Curse of the Black Pearl mostly because of the whole nautical lore plot: Davy Jones, The Flying Dutchman, Kraken, the black spot. And I like Tia Dalma and her swamp, though I couldn't understand much of what she's saying. Of course, the movie ends with an ultimate cliffhanger, so we all have to wait until next year to know what becomes of Cap'n Jack Sparrow and his mates.

***
Saw "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" just yesterday, which I really regret because it's hilarious as hell and visually appealing. I bought the VCD last year and I guess, I forgot about it. Found it (still in its plastic) while I was rummaging through my stuff. Wacky, quasi-philosophical, sci-fi film that revolved around Arthur Dent and his friends' search of the Ultimate Question to the Ultimate Answer Of Life, the Universe and Everything, which is (as calculated by the mega computer, Deep Thought) 42. Yes, 42.

This is from the book: (source: Wikipedia)
"Forty-two!" yelled Loonquawl. "Is that all you've got to show for seven and a half million years' work?"

"I checked it very thoroughly," said the computer, "and that quite definitely is the answer. I think the problem, to be quite honest with you, is that you've never actually known what the question is."

And from the film: (source: IMDB)
Arthur: I think that door just sighed.
Marvin: Ghastly, isn't it? All the doors on this spaceship have been programmed to have a cheery and sunny disposition.

Zaphod: In the name of people, and freedom, and democracy, and stuff like that, I hereby kidnap myself, and I'm taking this ship with me. Whooo!

Arthur: All my life I've had this strange feeling that there's something big and sinister going on in the world.
Slartibartfast: No, that's perfectly normal paranoia. Everyone in the universe gets that.

Phantasmagorical (hahaha) film with singing dolphins, paranoid android, sighing doors, cheeky mice, lemon-powered Galatic President, mighty towels, Vogon poetry, weird circumstances and funny lines. I have to look for the books!

Look, a song

2006-07-20T19:41:00.000+08:00

Because I have nothing to say, only a song to sing.

"I Will Follow You Into The Dark" - Death Cab For Cutie

Love of mine someday you will die
But I'll be close behind
I'll follow you into the dark

No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white
Just our hands clasped so tight
Waiting for the hint of a spark
If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark

In Catholic school as vicious as Roman rule
I got my knuckles bruised by a lady in black
And I held my toungue as she told me
"Son fear is the heart of love"
So I never went back

If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark

You and me have seen everything to see
From Bangkok to Calgary
And the soles of your shoes are all worn down
The time for sleep is now
It's nothing to cry about
Cause we'll hold each other soon
The blackest of rooms

If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
Then I'll follow you into the dark

Miss fat boy, car in mall, an Andalusian dog

2006-07-08T21:38:00.000+08:00

Got my hair hacked off. I now look like a portly little boy. Mother is pleased I finally got the much needed haircut. While father, who didn't fail to remind me how hideous my hair was, is shocked. I'd love to dye it blue. Given I find some good blue hair dye. Anyway, I kept some of my decapitated hair and put it in the Fat Notebook for souvenir's sake.

***
Question: How did they get the display cars up on the 2nd floor of Gateway mall? Did they crane the cars there? If so, how? Did they drive the car inside the mall? (Well, I'd like to see someone drive inside the mall) But it's on the 2nd floor and there's no driveway there. Did they assemble the car right there?

***
Blade slitting the pupil of an open eye is a sight you have to see for yourself. Flinch of horror guaranteed. "Un Chien Andalou" is, well, indescribably surreal. A bit of trivia, the actors who played the nameless protagonists in the film, Simone Mareuil and Pierre Batcheff, both committed suicide in real life. Isn't that interesting? (I thank Marvin for introducing me to this film.)

Sunday is sports day (Well, ngayon lang naman)

2006-07-02T12:42:00.000+08:00

Gumising pa naman ako ng maaga para makipagunahan sa TV, talo naman Brazil against France, 1-0. Kainis. Galing ni Zidane! He's retiring and I guess he wants to go with a big hoopla. Pati England talo, 0-0. Portugal won 3-1 on penalties. Well, at least Germany won against Argentina sa shoot-out. Medyo may commotion nga lang after the game. And so now, four Euros remain: France, Portugal, Germany, and Italy. Sino kaya mananalo?

(Again, hindi naman ako maalam sa sports kaya ang opinion ko lang ay limited sa kung sino ang nanalo at natalo. O kung sino yung magaling at gwapong naglalaro. Hahaha)

Hay naku. Sobra na ang exposure kay Manny Pacquiao. May movie na, may album pa at libro. Halos lahat ng commercial nandun pa siya. Hindi na ako magugulat kung bigla siyang magkaroon siya ng TV show. ~_~

Anyway, nanalo siya over Oscar Larios. Delayed telecast sa ABS-CBN, kaya pinanood/pinakinggan namin ng tatay ko yung laban sa isang malabong cable channel. Kahit hindi namin makita yung nangyayari, ayos naman yung commentators, hindi pa biased.

Dating gawi

2006-07-01T23:37:00.001+08:00

Habang lunch break kanina, napag-usapan namin nina Leng at Kassey ang makasaysayang TGIS. You know, sina Peachy, Cris, Kiko, Mitch, Miggy, Joaquin, the whole teen-show entourage. Tapos nung pumunta na kaming Megamall para kitain sina Chuck at Mariz, lo and behold, nandun ang ngayong balbas-saradong si Bobby Andrews. Haha. Parang ang sarap lapitan, makipagkamay at sabihing, "Hi Wacks!"

At dahil likas na mahiwaga ang Megamall, nakita rin namin si Pen Medina kanina. Yay! Gusto ko sana siyang yakapin at pasalamatan dahil dinala niya sa mundo si Ping. At sana kuhanan na rin ng picture para remembrance, kaso bigla akong tinablan ng hiya. Naalala ko nung nakita namin dati si Ping sa Cubao, kumuha ako ng stolen shot at sinundan namin siya Gateway. Hehe.

***
Pati nanay ko nakikisawsaw sa Spandau Ballet LSS ko. Hahaha. Nagmamaluma na naman ako. REO Speedwagon at Roxette naman. Dating gawi ulit. Download!

***
Hindi ako maalam sa World Cup (or sports in general) pero, I ♥ Theo Walcott. C'mon mamon, 17 years old pa lang siya! But I'm still rooting for Brazil. Hehe.

Kababawan lang

2006-06-29T19:40:00.000+08:00

Nakakaadik na ako sa Fullmetal Alchemist. Ang ganda ng storya e. Ganda, ganda, ganda. Comedy gold yung episode kanina! Silly filler kasi malapit na siyang matapos sa Animax. Gusto ko bumili ng complete DVD para uulit-ulitin ko. Gusto, gusto, gusto. Kaso hindi pa pwede. Pero gusto ko pa rin.

***
Nakikipagsapalaran akong basahin ang "The Island of Day Before" o "L'isola del giorno prima" (ganda pakinggan, ne?) ni Umberto Eco ngayon. Bawi lang para hindi naman malugaw ang utak. Heavy pero ok naman. Interesante ang character ni Roberto. Nasa chapter two pa lang ako, sana hindi ako tamarin. Ayon sa matatalinong tao, maganda raw ang "The Name of the Rose" o "Il nome della rosa" (ganda rin pakinggan nito). Sana balang araw mabasa ko rin yun.

At sana may maligaw na rin sa Booksale na "On the Road" ni ginoong Jack Kerouac. Beatnik isputnik. Yeah.

***
Bilib ako kay Erik Weihenmayer. Ako na may mga mata kahit malabo man ay hindi pa nakakalapit sa paanan ng bundok, pero siya na bulag naabot na ng Mount Everest. Galing. Hmmm. Ang pinakamataas ko pa lang na naakyat na natural land form ay isang burol sa Mindoro noong grade school pa ko. Pagdating ko sa tuktok, humiga ako at gumulong pababa. Ang saya.

***
Golf lima alpha india zulu alpha charlie alpha november sierra papa echo lima lima uniform sierra india november golf tango hotel echo november alpha tango oscar papa hotel oscar november echo tango india charlie alpha lima papa hotel alpha bravo echo tango.

Random skill. Haha. Baka pwede ko tong mapakinabangan balang araw.

Whatfuckingever

2006-06-23T19:29:00.000+08:00

Spandau Ballet's "True" is continuously playing in my head, I'm reading about playtpuses, and I cried while watching NatGeo Channel. I don't know what to make of this situation! x_X

***
Sylvia Plath is tapping on my window.

"I can never read all the books I want; I can never be all the people I want and live all the lives I want. I can never train myself in all the skills I want. And why do I want? I want to live and feel all the shades, tones and variations of mental and physical experience possible in life. And I am horribly limited."

"...Why the hell are we conditioned into the smooth strawberry-and-cream mother-goose, Alice-and- Wonderland fable, only to be broken on the wheel as we grow older and become aware of ourselves as individuals with a dull responsibility in life?"

"I have the choice of being constantly active and happy or introspectively passive and sad. Or I can go mad by ricocheting in between."

"It is sad to be able only to mouth other poets. I want someone to mouth me."

"Can a selfish egocentric jealous and unimaginative female write a damn thing worthwhile?"

"Would it be too childish of me to say: I want? But I do want: theater, light, color, paintings, wine and wonder."

Embrace the shit

2006-06-18T20:36:00.000+08:00

(Earlier, while father and I were watching TV)

Father-dear: Gumagamit ka ba ng conditioner?
Me: Opo. Bakit?
Father-dear: Ang buhaghag kasi ng buhok mo e.
Me: Hehehe. Oo nga e. Yung sa inyo naman manipis.
Father-dear: At least maganda pa rin.

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY! ^_^
***

(Written earlier on a piece of paper from an old notebook in our little sarisari store)

As I am writing this, I can hear some kids making a ruckus around the Manila Waters' white truck. You see, our septic tank is being siphoned today. Apparently, the shit-hole is about to blow. That's why I'm here in the store, clearing out of the way for the "suckers" with their big yellow hose to go about their business. Anyways, the kids find the whole situation curiously funny. They're horsing around, taking turns peering inside the septic tank, trying to push each other to it, and making retching noises even though no strong stench hung the air. They're simultaneously disgusted and interested by that shit hole. This reminds about the Milan Kundera's idea of kitsch. Not in the art sense, but the "metaphysical idea" of kitsch - "the absolute denial of shit," literally and figuratively. We humans reject what is ugly and naturally normal. We avoid things we find hard to come to terms with. We love to sanitize ourselves. I mean, why bother when shit happens all the time? I want to learn how to embrace the shit, romanticize if I must.

***
While I was going down the escalator at the LRT Cubao station yesterday, a kid (about nine years old or so) was mooning me and making rude hand gestures from inside Max's restaurant. I looked at him, more amused than bothered. And I asked myself "god, was I that stupid as kid?" Possibly. Maybe I haven't even outgrown it yet.

***
I'd rather be the one taking the photos than the one being photographed. I don't register too well on photos and videos, hence, my constant request for dramatic back shots. My wish, though, is to take pictures of my own back in a photographer-subject situation. I want to take pictures of myself while waiting for the train to arrive, while standing on a cliff, while tying my shoes, while crossing the street, while reaching for a book in a high shelf, while writing. All with just back shots. That'd be very nice.

Last Varsi Supper (?)

2006-06-15T23:19:00.000+08:00

HOLY and HILARIOUS

(Photo c/o Anne, I think. Correct me if I'm wrong.)

More photos? Come this way, please.

Habang lulan ng MRT, naisip ko:

2006-06-13T21:38:00.000+08:00

- Mabilis pala talaga MRT.
- Sana lalake na lang ako para may gwapo rin akong Adam's apple. At para makapag-shorts na rin ako sa office.
- Sana may Magic Sing kami para pag malungkot ako, ikakanta ko na lang sama ng loob ko.
- Gusto kong maligo sa ulan pero ayokong mabasa.
- Gusto ko rin ng Go-Go boots. Pag meron na ako nun kakandirit ako sa kalsada.
- Sana pocket-size na lang si Marikit (rain stick ko) para madala ko siya kahit saan.
- Mga matatandang walang pinagkatandaan.
- Naiinis ako sa napaka walang kwentang sitwasyon na `to.
- Paano kaya ako kikita ng maraming, maraming, maraming pera?
- Paano naman kaya ako makakaipon ng pera?
- Bakit ba kailangan pa kasi ng pera e? Dapat Barter Trade system na lang ulit para wala ng pera-pera, gulay pwede nang pambayad.
- Bakit ba ang kulit nila? Pwede hayaan nyo muna ako.
- Inuulit ko, ayoko nang tumanda. A-yo-ko.
- Lord, help.
- Amoy isda talaga ang Cubao station.

On TV-mode

2006-06-11T20:42:00.000+08:00

"Rice balls don't belong in a fruits basket."

Fruits Basket marathon! ^_^ Am so glad I got the English dub. Even the very cute opening and closing songs were in English. Funimation did it, so it was good. Shockingly, Tohru is less annoying in English (voiced by Laura Bailey who is Lust in FMA) and I'm correct when I thought I heard Alphonse Elric in Hiro Sohma (voiced by Aaron Dismuke). Yuki, however, has this sly sissy voice to him. Didn't like it, but it suits him, I guess. Shigure remains hilarious in any language and I still heart Kyou and Haru.

I really like the rice ball metaphor. Makes me want to go doodle rice balls now. ^_^

Animax just showed the Fushigi Yuugi OVA. Watched it for a bit then I turned it off. Got me thinking why I ever watched it before. Same plot applies: everyone either wants to kill or rape Miaka, there's always a touch of Watase's incestuous fetish, and despite all her misfortunes and stupidity, she always ends up happy. x_x Me watching the TV series, however, is justified because of Hotohori and Tasuki. Teehee.

Steamboy is on but I'm too busy reading fanfics at the moment.

I want to whore more DVD series and mangas. Maybe Bleach or Ouran. And I'm curious about Nana too. Perhaps when I have money.

Ze Great Palawan Escape

2006-06-09T18:09:00.000+08:00

Despite all my Malaria and the-curse-of-Dos-Palmas paranoia, the Palawan experience vas vanderful. I finally rode an airplane (hopefully, not my last) which proved I can be airborne! I also went snorkelling and saw corals, giant clams, a lionfish, jellyfishes, and other marine creatures. A parrot fish even tried to nibble on my index finger. Woot! This is a really big achievement for me since I can't swim and have tendency to panic in water. So, to whoever invented the life jacket, thank you. Hey. Not only am I airborne, I'm buoyant as well! Haha.

Got seriously wasted the first night though. Seriously, seriously, wasted. I can't even remember most of the things I did in that videoke room (which were absolutely horrid, as people later informed me). I've never passed-out like that before. A first and I definitely want it to be my last. And just to prove karma does bite hard, I woke up the with the mother of all hangovers, keeping me bedridden and puking my insides the entire day. What a way to learn a good lesson. Sorry to everyone I bothered that night and thanks to the very good people who looked after me. I think I may never drink again.

By third day, when I was well-rested, well-fed, and hydrated, I attempted to circumnavigate the Araceffi island on a kayak, but kayak-buddy Nascel and I quit half-way through the adventure. Our skins were burning and our arms were to sore to continue, so we just dumped our kayak somewhere near the mangrove areas and walked home. For the longest time, I got on a bike again and lolligaged about. And even though I can't sing, the videoke sessions were the best. The food, the people, and the place too! The sunburn isn't too bad either. Once again, I've fallen in love with the world.

Awww. This is my last and perhaps best Varsi outing. Damn, I'm missing people again.

PS: Well, have to save up for my next Great Escape soon!

Halu-halong salita, kunwari post

2006-06-03T21:31:00.000+08:00

Sarap ng ulan. Lasang matamis na pangako.
***

Kahit buong araw akong nakaharap sa computer sa office, miss ko pa rin itong si Gael ko. Ok sana yung Internet connection dun kaso may surf control e, di ko tuloy mapakinabang ng husto. Buti pa rito kay Gael nakakapag-check pa ako ng e-mail. Kinig lang ng mp3s o tingin ng pictures o basa articles/fanfics o sagot ng mga online quizzes o bisita sa kung anu-anong websites para naman maaliw tuwing downtime. (That said, daan kayo sa PETA. Di man ako vegan o pet owner, I'm all for animal rights.)
***

Ok naman ang trabaho. Not complaining. Not rejoicing. Steady lang. Yun nga lang mas alam ko pa balita sa ibang bansa kesa balita rito sa Pinas. (Ayan ipa-plug ko na rin ang ABC News Now. Sana makilala nyo rin si Hari Sreenivasan. Hehe) Have to buy new earphones though, I think I'm going deaf. At dapat ko nang kaibiganin ung CMS, nakakalimutan ko kasi parating pindutin.
***

Punta kami Palawan on Monday. Makakasakay na ako sa airplane! Woohoo! "Excitemented" na ako pero medyo paranoid ako sa Malaria at hindi ako nagpa-shots. Sana hindi ako kagatin ng mga lamok, di naman masarap dugo ko e. Magdala kaya ako ng Baygon spray?
***

Nakakaasar kaya yung commercial ng Hapee Toothpaste ngayon. Pareho sila nung commercial ni Kris sa Oishi. Akala nila maganda, hindi naman.

Will you look at that, I have no life.

2006-05-30T20:30:00.000+08:00

Stolen from Palo's blog. If you've seen over 80 movies, you have no life. Mark the ones you've seen. There are 167 movies on this list. Put your score in header and repost:

( ) Rocky Horror Picture Show
(x) Grease
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean
( ) Boondock Saints
( ) Fight Club
( ) Starsky and Hutch
(x) Neverending Story
( ) Blazing Saddles
( ) Airplane
( ) My first Mister
(x) The virgin suicides

Total: 4

( ) The Princess Bride
(x) AnchorMan: The Legend of Ron Burgandy (Afternoon Delight. Hehe.)
( ) Napoleon Dynamite (Want to watch this one)
( ) Labyrinth
( ) Saw
( ) Saw II
( ) White Noise
( ) White Oleander
(x) Anger Management
(x) 50 First Dates
(x) The Princess Diaries
( ) The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement

Total: 4

(x) Scream
(x) Scream2
( ) Scream 3
(x) Scary Movie
(x) Scary Movie 2
( ) Scary Movie 3
( ) Scary Movie 4
(x) American Pie
(x) American Pie 2
( ) American Wedding
( ) American Pie Band Camp

Total: 6

(x) Harry Potter
(x) Harry Potter 2
(x) Harry Potter 3
(x) Harry Potter 4
( ) Resident Evil
( ) Resident Evil 2
(x) The Wedding Singer
( ) Little Black Book
(x) The Village
(x) Lilo & Stitch.

Total: 7

(x) Finding Nemo
(x) Finding Neverland
(x) Signs
(x) The Grinch
( ) Texas Chainsaw Massacre
( ) White Chicks
( ) Butterfly Effect
(x) 13 Going on 30
( ) I, Robot
( ) Robots

Total: 5

( ) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
( ) Universal Soldier
( ) Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
(x) Along Came Polly
(x) Deep Impact
( ) KingPin
(x) Never Been Kissed
(x) Meet The Parents
( ) Meet the Fockers
( ) Eight Crazy Nights
( ) Joe Dirt
(x) King Kong

Total: 5

(x) A Cinderella Story
(x) The Terminal
( ) The Lizzie McGuire Movie
( ) Passport to Paris
(x) Dumb & Dumber
(x) Dumber & Dumberer
(x) Final Destination
( ) Final Destination 2
( ) Final Destination 3
( ) Halloween
(x) The Ring
(x) The Ring 2
( ) Surviving X-mas
(x) Flubber

Total: 8

(x) Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
(x) Practical Magic
(x) Chicago
( ) Ghost Ship
( ) From Hell
(x) Hellboy
( ) Secret Window
(x) I Am Sam
( ) The Whole Nine Yards

Total: 5

( ) The Day After Tomorrow
(x) Child's Play
( ) Seed of Chucky
( ) Bride of Chucky
(x) Ten Things I Hate About You
(x) Just Married
(x) Gothika
(x) Nightmare on Elm Street
(x) Sixteen Candles (80s movie yeah)
( ) Remember the Titans
( ) Coach Carter
(x) The Grudge
(x) The Mask
( ) Son Of The Mask

Total: 8

(x) Bad Boys 2
( ) Joy Ride
( ) Se7en
(x) Ocean's Eleven
( ) Ocean's Twelve
( ) Identity
( ) Lone Star
(x) Bedazzled
(x) Predator I
( ) Predator II
( ) The Fog
(x) Ice Age
( ) Ice Age 2: The Meltdown

Total: 5

(x) Independence Day
( ) Cujo
( ) A Bronx Tale
( ) Darkness Falls
(x) ET
(x) Children of the Corn
( ) My Boss' Daughter
(x) Maid in Manhattan
( ) Frailty
( ) War of the Worlds
(x) Rush Hour
(x) Rush Hour 2

Total: 6

( ) Best Bet
(x) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
(x) She's All That
(x) Calendar Girls
( ) Sideways
(x) Mars Attacks (Hate this movie)
( ) Event Horizon
(x) Ever After
(x) Forrest Gump
( ) Big Trouble in Little China
(x) The Terminator
( ) Terminator 2

Total: 7

(x) X-Men
(x) X2
(x) Spider-Man
(x) Spider-Man 2
( ) Sky High
( ) Jeepers Creepers
( ) Jeepers Creepers 2
(x) Catch Me If You Can
( ) The Others
(x) Freaky Friday
( ) Reign of fire
(x) Cruel Intentions
( ) Cruel Intentions 2
( ) The Hot Chick
(x) Shrek
(x) Shrek 2

Total: 9

(x) Swimfan
( ) Miracle
( ) Old School
(x) The Notebook
( ) K-Pax
(x) Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
(x) Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
(x) Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
(x) A Walk to Remember
( ) Boogeyman
( ) The 40-year-old-virgin

Total: 6

Overall score: 85

Baguio and back

2006-05-29T22:40:00.000+08:00

Kakagaling ko lang ng Baguio! Woohoo! Pardon my enthusiasm, first time ko kasi e. Hello, halos 2 dekada rin akong naghintay makapuntang Baguio. Sa wakas natupad rin ang pangarap kong jackpot. ^_^ Nakisali kasi ako sa "barkada outing" ng mga magulang ko. Chaperone/photographer/alalay ako ng 3 married couples. Akalain mo yun sila may social life ako wala, nabubulok lang sa bahay. At dahil kasama ko ang aking parental units, syempre libre. Yehey. Kahit jampack sa tao at parang Manila na rin sa dami ng establishments, ok pa rin. At least hindi masyadong madumi at hindi naman nasira ang "Baguio illusion" ko. Ang ginaw, lalo na sa umaga habang nagbabanyo ka. Hehe.

Nag-stay kami sa isang transient house sa Teachers Camp. Tapos namalengke kami sa Baguio Market kung saan na maraming murang gulay at prutas. Nagpunta kami sa Strawberry Fields at bulaklakan(?) sa La Trinidad, Benguet. Pagdating ko dun napakanta talaga ako ng "Strawberry Fields Forver". Hehe. Nagliwaliw din kami sa Wright Park (maraming kabayo), The Mansion (hanggang gate lang kami), at Baguio Botanical Garden (flower power yeah). Natuklasan ko sa Burnham Park na may future ako sa pamamangka, pero ngayon medyo masakit ang mga galamay ko kakasagwan. Pinaka enjoy ako sa Mines View Park. Ganda ng view, nakakatulala. Sa mga ganitong experiences ka talaga ma-i-inlove sa mundo. At totoong masarap ma-inlove sa mundo.

Sarap ng natural aircon, murang chocoflakes (more reason for celebration), strawberry-flavored taho, at strawberry wine. Kaso hindi ko masyadong trip yung binatog na may condensada at asukal, ang labo ng lasa e. Nakakita rin ng malalaking sunflowers, calla lillies, at dahlias. Kaso naiinis ako dun sa mga taong kinulayan ng pink yung mane ng mga kabayo. Mukhang tanga (yung tao hindi kabayo). Tapos may isang kabayong albino na nakatali at naaarawan lang sa isang lugar para photo ops sa mga turista. Form of animal cruelty yun a.

Nakaubos ako ng 2 rolyo ng film. Gusto ko nga sana maraming landscape shots, kaso likas talagang mahilig sa "kodakan" ang mga Pilipino. Hehe. Nakakahiya nga mag-dramatic pose at maglulundag kasi baka ma-weirduhan sino tito at tita. Excited na akong magpa-develop. Sana maganda mga kuha para ma-post ko sila.

Hah! Pwede ko ng tanggalin ang Baguio sa "Places-I-Have-to-Visit-Before-I-Die List". Next stop, Palawan. Woohoo ulit! (Wish ko lang matuloy)

Yoko pa pumasok work mamaya. x_x May bakasyon hangover pa ko. Gusto ko pang mag-chillax. Strawberry Fields Forever ulit.

Spacing out here

2006-05-25T19:35:00.000+08:00

Am watching That '70s Show "Hyde's special brownies" episode. Hilarious. Now am craving for one, a normal brownie of course. The KFC kind if possible. Same thing happened when I saw the "crabby patties" episode in Spongebob Squarepants, I had the sudden urge to eat a Big Mac. Damn the power of television. Damn my stomach.

Danny Masterson is hot.
***

My MRT thought for the day: Mabilis tumakbo ang oras kapag maaga akong nagigising, kaso mabilis din ako nagugutom. Tsk.
***

Joel in the Palace. Anchor Tis. Hahaha-hay naku. ^_^

Gusto ko ng Hosto at iba pang bagay

2006-05-21T22:20:00.000+08:00

Mali at masaya ang Ouran High School Host Club. ^_^ Masyado akong nag-e-enjoy sa kwento ng mga mala-bading na batang lalaking hosto. Hosto! Hosto! Hosto! Aprub ang animation nung TV series at si Maaya Sakamoto pa ang seiyuu ni Haruhi. Heart. Dapat gawan rin nila ng series ang HanaKimi, maganda na ang storya, marami pang lalake sa cast. At oo, may mga badingan moments din.
***

`Alangya ang bagal ng Internet ko. Inaabot ako ng dekada bago maka-download, tapos hindi ko pa mabuksan ng matino yung Friendster. Gusto ko ng malupit na DSL connection para makapanood ako sa Youtube at makakuha ng maraming scanlations at mp3s. Kaso pag mag-DSL ako kailangan ko na ring palitan computer ko. Hay.
***

Gusto ko ng buong collection ni Stanley Kubrick at Akira Kurosawa. Gusto ko rin mapanood ang The Science of Sleep, Garden State, at Napoloen Dynamite.

(Ano ba yan ang dami ko namang gusto sa buhay. At bakit ang incoherent ng thoughts ko?)

Moms the word. Ehe.

2006-05-14T20:28:00.000+08:00

To all the moms in the world, Happy Mother's Day. And to mine, I love and respect you. Thanks for everything. (I can hear the song Mama by Spice Girls from the telly. ROFL. ^_^)

In line with this special day...

Newsflash: Nina gave birth to baby Anna Victoria! (Hope I spelled it right) Yayness! This is really beautiful and perfect in so many ways! Nina, I'm so happy for you and your new family!
***

Lovely cold weather, day-long bedhead, full fridge, uninterrupted TV time, no blackouts, no life threats whatsoever, queer daydreams, and the hope of blessings. Yeah, this is the life. I miss these lazy kind of days.
***

Yesterday was the nicest, most comfortable walk to the Main Building in my entire life and I can't explain why.

Lilipad, lilipad!

2006-05-11T03:29:00.000+08:00

Saya ng yellow layout. Trippy! At may rainbow pa.
***

Simula ngayon pinuputol ko na pagtanda ko. Bente na lang ako habang buhay. At para magdiwang, chi-chibog ulit ako ng "0% cholesterol cereals", "low-fat high-calcium milk" at kakaibang "sugar-free double fudge cookies." (Health conscious kunwari)
***

Habang pauwi ako kanina napatunayan ko na mas gusto ko ngang sumakay ng bus. Yung aircon at mabilis na pinaandar ng kaskaserong driver. Sa bus kasi nakakapagbasa pa ako, nakakatulog ng nakanganga, nakakataas ng paa, nakakaalala ng mga lumang jokes, nakakakita ng mga interesanteng tao, at nakakapag nilay-nilay sa buhay. Bus-person ako, pero hindi yata ako Makati-person. Hmmm. Aalamin ko pa.

***
Inlove siya sa Merriam-Webster Online pronunciation feature. Lackadaisical. LOL.

***

Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with Glaiza's Syndrome
Cause:	psychological
Symptoms:	extreme flatulence, sore throat, neck lengthening, mild bad poetry
Cure:	wake up and realise it was all just a dream
Enter your name, for your own diagnosis:

Kapit-damo

2006-05-06T23:16:00.000+08:00

Insecure ako sa isang taong hindi ko kilala.
May gusto ako sa ang isang taong hindi ako kilala.
Shiyet. Ginulungang palad ang aking drama.
Kailan kaya matatapos itong kapit-damong romansa?

Haha. Wala lang. Hi, Cam! *Wink*

Sicko

2006-05-05T23:12:00.000+08:00

I caught something in Caylabne. Nope, not a fish (or jellyfish in Caylabne's case). Just a bad case of flu. I've been blowing my nose/brains out for the past few days, I have a hacking cough, my limbs are aching, and my voice is still manly-croaky. ~_~ Gah! But I'm so happy I came. What a very comedic/dramatic/action-packed/scary outing! Looking forward to the Planning. (Well, that is if I can make it. Wah, I really want to go!)

Wow, I guess I'm really leaving Varsi and UST for good. Everything is just starting to sink-in now.

PS: NICE BODONI!

***

I've proven that I can fall sleep anywhere, anytime, and through anything. The other day at the crowded, hot, dingy, and chaotic NBI office in QC, I fell asleep while standing in line. And now, mother is seriously scared of my unusual sleeping habits.

And I've also proven that everyone is ugly in the eyes of NBI. Worst photo ever.

***
Come Monday, I'll be officially "supporting people" Goodluck to me, I guess. At least I'm not a bum anymore!

Bum log #2 (Ka-dramahan)

2006-04-25T05:37:00.000+08:00

Sa kasawiang palad wala pa rin akong trabaho. Obvious ba? Sige, magdra-drama pa ako.

***

Puyat na naman ako. Pero last Varsi-work-related overnight `to, kaya, sige pagbigyan. Basta simula next ish, si MJ na ang bahala sa mga presswork at kung ano pang Varsi anik-anik. Kahit papaano mami-miss ko `tong puyatan na `to lalo na yung mga katatawanang nangyayari, NBSB meeting, at libreng Wendy's sa hatinggabi. Hay. Marami akong natutunan sa Varsi, marami akong nalaman sa sarili at kakayahan ko, maraming nakilalang bagong mga kaibigan at mga masasaya/masasamang tao, marami ring beses nalungkot at nawalan ng loob, maraming beses na napagalitan, maraming beses na ako naman ang nagalit, marami ring napuntahan, maraming nakita na maganda at masama, marami na rin akong nakaing libreng chibog. Basta maraming kung anu-ano sa Varsi. Kaya kahit minumura ko minsan ang sarili ko at ang org na `to, siyempre mahal ko pa rin ang Varsi at nagpapasalamat ako na kahit 2 taon lang e napagbigyan akong maging staff at kahit papaano nakapaglingkod sa UST.

***

Kakaiba yung nangyari sa chorvang eklat na yun. Hindi masayang kakaiba, basta i-di-describe ko na lang siya as "kakaiba" para wala ng masamang lumabas pa sa bibig (daliri) ko. What doesn't kill me only makes me stronger.

The Bum Log

2006-04-18T15:51:00.000+08:00

BUM LOG # 1

I've decided to start a BUM LOG that'll run until I have a decent, good-paying, full-time job. This is to constantly remind me that: I'm now part of the 8.1% unemployment rate of this country, I'm still living off my parents' and sister's well-earned money, I'm not "applying myself" as an able individual, and more importantly, to remind me that jobs don't magically appear in our doorsteps (or do they?).

***
Gael, the computer, is acting up again. *Grumbles*

Hoppy Easter, everyone!

2006-04-16T00:33:00.000+08:00

*Hippity hop hippity hop* ^_^

God is so good.

Tulalang tralala, tralalang tulala

2006-04-11T14:09:00.000+08:00

Gusto ko si Ellen Degeneres at si Tomoyo (Cardcaptor Sakura) kasi ang tibo tibo nila. ^_^ Gusto ko rin ng tuna kasi masarap ito at may Omega 3 pa (kung ano man yun).

***
Leche ang init pero tinatamad pa akong maligo.

Amen!

2006-04-04T18:09:00.000+08:00

Talikodgenic drama-dramahan sa Galera.

PS: Ayon sa feedback ng mga tao, hindi raw ako umitim. Kainis. Feeling maitim lang pala ako. Mahahahahahaha!

Sun-baked.

2006-04-02T13:28:00.000+08:00

Hello. Nakabalik na ako sa Manila, my Manila. At hayep ang sakit ng katawan ko. Kati pa nung sunburn. Ang target ko dapat talaga ay parang "sun-kissed" look kuno, para halatang galing beach, e ang lumabas e "sun-baked." Ahahaha! Pero sabi ko nga ayus lang matusta basta masaya naman. Tapos meron pa akong malaking astig na henna tatoo! Yeah!

Nagpunta kami sa White Beach, Puerto Galera kung saan marami ngang mga foreigner at mga friendly na tao. Kakaiba kasi lahat nginingitian ka. Kung dito yun sa Manila, matatakot ka, pero dun relax lang at pa-smile-smile at pahiga-higa na lang sa buhangin. Ang nakakatawa pa, party-mode ang lahat ng tao. Daming bar na pwede mong lasingan. Panalo ang Mindoro Sling, Subzero, Gin Tonic, at ang masarap na Kamikaze. Umuwi kaming pasuray-suray sa casita namin, zigzag yung trail namin sa beach. Ahahaha! Medyo malungkot nga lang kasi wala akong kaibigan na kasama at dakilang saling ket-ket ako, pero at least nakapag attempted soul-searching din ako. Lamig ng tubig at masarap mag beach-combing drama kahit mag-isa ka lang. Pumalaot pa kami at nakakita kami ng dolphins! Yehey! Natupad ang isa sa mga summer pangarap ko. Marami rin akong nakilalang Thomasians dun. Sobrang liit talaga ng mundo.

Da best ang experience. Sayang nga lang hindi ko napuntahan yung falls at hotspring, hindi rin ako nakapag-banana boat. Di bale next time talaga. Sana rin sa susunod marami na akong kaibigang kasama. ^_^ Hay, miss ko na mga kaibigan ko.

"I am graduate!" LOL

2006-03-30T01:47:00.000+08:00

Our graduation was chaotic and fun. Solemnity just went out the doors of PICC. Half of the time, I was staring into deep space and the other half was dedicated to camwhoring. (Note to self: must finally get a Multiply/Flicker account and post pics) My face was melting all throughout the event, but who cares? I love my classmates, friends, and my major most definitely. I miss you guys already. Wah T_T.

CONGRATULATIONS GRADUATES OF BATCH 2006!
AND THANK YOU, GOD!

Dinner was fab too. I fought for my right to choose the resto and I won ^_^. Ha! CPK has the most fattening dishes and the nicest crew. Go eat there! Oh and they gave me free ice-cream. Yay!

PS: WAIT. I'M OUT OF SCHOOL AND UNEMPLOYED? OMFG!

***
Off to Puerto Galera in a few hours with my sister and her friend. Yeah, I'm the annoying tag-a-long. Haha. Hopefully, when I come back I'll have a nice story to tell.

Ayaw kong maging takot

2006-03-28T00:35:00.000+08:00

"Fear has many faces and they're all ugly."

Apir! Kaya magpapatalo ba tayo sa pangit? HINDI!

Bakasyon grande!

2006-03-21T16:10:00.000+08:00

Ang saya! Wala talaga akong ginagawang kahit anong productive na bagay. Buong araw lang akong kumakain, nanonood ng TV, at humihilata dito sa bahay! Sobra, the best `to! *Nagsasasayaw*

Pero syempre ayaw ko namang sayangin bakasyon ko. Marami akong pangarap gawin ngayong summer. Una, gusto kong mag-adventure at pumunta sa kung saan-saang lugar, basta malayo at maganda. Gusto ko ng mahabang roadtrip. Gusto kong umakyat ng bundok at sumakay ng bangka. Gusto kong mag-beach kahit hindi ako marunong lumangoy. Ok rin lang kung matusta ako sa init, basta enjoy naman. Gusto kong mamimili sa mga palengke ng iba't ibang probinsya. Gusto kong sumama sa malaking parada at kumain sa mga piyesta. Gusto kong makahawak ng tarsier at makakita ng dolphin. Gusto kong mag-bunjee jumping at mag-rapelling, pwede rin wall climbing kasi natuwa ako nung unang subok ko nito. Gusto kong matuto ng pottery at silk screening. Gusto kong matutong mag-brew ng masarap ng tea. Gusto kong makipag-usap sa isang random Briton para lang makarinig first-hand ng malupet na British accent. At maraming marami pa!

May kung anong naguudyok sa akin gawin ang mga bagay na `to. Alam kong hindi ko sila magagawa lahat ngayon o siguro kailanman, pero summer naman e, marami akong oras para mangarap. Hehe. Pero syempre, gusto ko rin namang may gawing kapakipakinabang sa buhay ko. Kailangan ko na ring maghanap ng trabaho at maging *ahem* "young professional" kuno para naman makatulong na ako sa pamilya ko. Tama na pagiging pabigat ko. Hehe.

Pakasaya tayong lahat ngayong summmer!!!

And we're back in business!!!

2006-03-20T22:30:00.000+08:00

New monitor!!! It's all black, flat-ish, and shiny-like!!!
My dear sister is home!!!
My River is here!!!
School is finally ovah!!! (Well, officially until the 29th)
Bumming about!!! (But not for long I hope)

(Notice the triple exclamation marks?)

My sucky vision and other blahtherings

2006-03-08T18:14:00.000+08:00

Well, at least I'm not going blind... yet. The ophthalmologist said it's astigmatism and myopia. Apparently, my right eye is failing me. Now, I have to get new glasses with a much higher grade, which bites because I really hate wearing them. I hated them since elementary so I almost never used mine and now I have to get new ones! Bleh.

***
Who will be this year's champion? Find out in PAUTAKAN 2006: the 29th UST Intercollegiate Quiz Contest on March 11, Saturday, at the UST Medicine Auditorium. Come and support your team as the University's brightest minds clash in this year's most exciting quiz bee.

*Jedi mindtricks* You will go to Pautakan 2006 this Saturday and you will like. You will go to Pautakan 2006 this Saturday and you will like. You will go to Pautakan 2006 this Saturday and you will like. LOL. C'mon guys, show some college spirit! Oh and buy yourself a t-shirt from Team Manila too because they'll have a booth there.

***
Monitor still gaddamnbusted. Glaiza still annoyed.

***
Here's a bit of fun. This comic is giving me fits of unusual giggles. I lurrve the illustrations, especially the ones of Sirius and Lupin's goofy-werewolf form. Heart.

Wala! Malas pa rin ako! Nakakainis na a!

2006-03-05T20:57:00.000+08:00

Nasa maliit na computer-an ako ngayon kasi sira pa rin monitor ko. Wala naman akong perang pang paayos o pambili ng bago, so anong magagawa ko? Wala! Maiinis na lang ako at magmumukmok dito sa isang sulok ng masikip na computer-an kasi yun lang naman ang kaya kong gawin ngayon e! Bakit kasi ngayon pa nasira monitor ko?! Sabi nila maki-computer daw muna ako sa iba. E paano yan lahat ng mga kakilala kong may computer ginagamit din computer nila. Nakakahiya naman mang istorbo ng ibang tao alam kong busy rin.

Hindi ako tulad ng iba na umutot lang e may 4 pages na article na sila o bumahing lang may magandang project na silang pwedeng ipasa. Matagal ako gumamit ng computer. Matagal akong magsulat. Marami akong writing peeves. Marami akong seremonyas. Pasensya na kung mukha akong nag-iiinarte sa buhay, sorry naman, pero kailangan ko talaga ng computer ko! SARILI KONG COMPUTER! Lalo na ngayon na dapat naghahanap na ako ng trabaho at de-email na ang lahat ng bagay! Bakit hindi nila maintindihan yun?

Tapos sobrang nanlalabo pa mga mata ko. Natatakot ako kasi feeling ko palabo siya nang palabo siya araw-araw. Parang may blind spot nga yata sa right eye ko. Baka nabubulag na ako! Wah! AYOKONG MABULAG! AYOKONG MABULAG! Paano ako magsusulat at magbabasa kung bulag ako?! Sino tatanggap sa akin kung bulag ako?!

PS: I don't mean to offend anyone who are blind or differently abled. It's just that my eye situation is really scaring me.

PSS: Dapat masaya ako ngayon kasi wala ng pasok pero bakit parang nagdedelubyo na naman?

Well, I'm so sorry for caring!

2006-02-28T16:04:00.000+08:00

Because if something bad happens, it's my head! I'm so sorry if it bothers you so damn much!

~~*Galit*~~ Okay, am *calm* now.

Malas talaga ako!

2006-02-25T16:53:00.000+08:00

Kanina lang nasa bahay pa ako, ngayon nandito na ako sa school. Leche. >_<

Ganado pa naman na akong gumawa nung IJ part ko, as in tahimik na ang lahat kasi umalis na mga magulang ko at pinatay ko na yung TV, nakapag-blog pa nga ako e diba, tapos biglang nagloko na lang yung monitor ko! Nagpunta lang ako ng banyo sandali, pagbalik ko lumiliit ng lumiit yung screen interface tapos biglang nawala na lang! Sinubukan ko ulit buksan ayaw na! Siyempre napatakbo ako rito ng wala sa oras para matapos na ito. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Bakit ngayon pa kung kailan sandamukal ang papers na kailangan kong ipasa this week? BAKIT?! BAKIT?! Ano bang kasalanan ko?! Ang mahal pa naman ng bagong monitor ngayon! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Naiinis na ako! BAKIT BA ANG MALAS MALAS KO?! >_<

Summer na, men!

2006-02-25T14:22:00.000+08:00

Huwaw. ANG INIT! Lumabas lang ako para maghanap ng dyaryo sa kapitbahay na-tusta na ako. Di tuloy ako nakapag "hanap-buhay" kanina. Tsk. Tsk. Ika nga ng Kamikazee: "Shiyet sobrang init! Abot singit! Shiyet sobrang init! Abot singit!

The Walang-pasok Post

2006-02-24T15:13:00.000+08:00

Habang nakakagulo na sa may EDSA Santolan, nagkakasakitan at nagkakahulihan na ng mga tao, si GMA naman ay relax na relax at nagpa-pa-party sa Malacanang. Ito pala ang tinatawag niyang STATE OF EMERGENCY?! Dapat na talaga tayong ma-alarma sa nangyayari sa gobyerno natin! Nasaan na ang pinagmamalaki nating demokrasya? Nasaan na ang na pinaglaban nating civil rights 20 years ago? Ayun, dinuduraan ni Gloria!

***
Sa wakas nakapanood na rin ako ng sine mag-isa! Sobra, isa `tong achievement para sa akin. Nanonood ako ng Brokeback Mountain kagabi sa Gateway, row H seat number 13 sa pagitan ng 1 queer guy na humahagikgik at straight couple na naghahalikan. Ang saya! Laking pasalamat ko na rin at walang mga nanonood na nagco-comment ng "yuck" o "nakakadiri" kasi bakit ka naman mag-iinarte ng ganun kung alam mo namang manonood ka ng R-18 gay film, diba? Nalungkot ako sa movie, a proper tragic lovestory. Kahit hindi ko masyado maintindihan yung mga pinagsasabi ni Heath Ledger (Ennis Del Mar) dahil sa kakaiba niyang cowboy accent, ayus lang. Ang galing ni Jake Gyllenhaal (Jack "Fucking" Twist)! Pagkatapos nun lumalangoy ang isip ko sa mga sheep, cowboys, at beans. Siguro aphrodisiac ang beans. Makakakain nga ng marami.

It's a random world

2006-02-21T23:28:00.000+08:00

Mga "Aaaah!s" ko ngayon:

Aaah! Nasa office pa rin ako at madaling araw na!
Aaah! Maaga pa ako bukas!
Aaah! Hindi ko makita yung law na pinapahanap ni sir!
Aaah! Nag-uumapaw na editing marks!
Aaah! Pautakan write-up!
Aaah! May nanonood ng porn sa likod ko!
Aaah! May humahalinghing na malakas!
Aaah! Talangkang nakakatawa!
Aaah! May bago akong layout na ninenok!

Happy Single Awareness Day!

2006-02-14T17:50:00.000+08:00

"I honestly think that I have so much love to give, but alas, nobody wants it." *Sniff, sniff*

***
Ewan ko na kung ano ang mangyayari. Personally, I'm not too thrilled to go over the whole ordeal again. But on the other hand maybe I should, you know, to defend ourselves, our rights. It's another one of those life-changing decisions and I'm confused as a fish swimming on air. We need to talk about this.

***
"The passion, the seduction of the brown race!" Mwahahaha! Katatawanan na naman.

Bwakana!

2006-02-11T17:17:00.000+08:00

Naiinis ako! Ang sama! Taena ang sakit a! Ang inconsiderate niya! Nakaka-depress itong araw na `to! AAAAH! *Sakal* AAAAH! *Saksak* AAAAH!

Glaizang basag

2006-02-08T19:43:00.000+08:00

Pestengyawa. Ang daming gagawin. Hindi ko alam kung ano na uunahin ko. Akala ko ba pag graduating ka na e konti na lang proproblemahin mo, e bakit ang dami ko pa ring problema hanggang ngayon? >_<

Kagabi sinubukan ko ulit magsulat, yung totoo at tunay na pagsusulat na tipong nag-da-dancing-dancing akong nakahubad sa ibabaw ng buwan sa sobrang kaligayahan at sarap; yung pagsusulat na hindi pang article, yung walang deadline, yung walang editor kundi sarili ko. Pero sa kasamaang palad wala akong napala. Wala. Ang lungkot kasi iniwanan na talaga ako ng una kong pag-ibig. O baka ako naman ang nang iwan dito? Ewan ko kung paano ito humantong sa ganito.

Mukha pa akong maputlang basag na ewan dun sa 2x2 photo ko. Pestengyawa talaga.

Really tragic

2006-02-06T09:51:00.000+08:00

The stampede at ULTRA last Saturday was very, very tragic and sad. Almost 80 people died and hundreds were injured. Usually, I only see things like these in Ten Scariest Moments Caught on Video. Imagine waking up to bad news like that. And the irony of it all, our thesis is titled "Effects of the Persuasive Power of Media: A Case of ABS-CBN's Gameshow Wowowee."

***
It's AB Week and I didn't even know. Nor do I care, really.